24 comments

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  Jenn

  2 years ago

  Yep. Amen. Preach it. All that.
  
  What a great poem Prufrock is, though--just as a launching-off point for . . . a whole lot of stuff.
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  Eve Nielsen

  2 years ago

  I constantly struggle with the tug-of-war between priorities. Each of them is important, yet definitely have their place.
  
  God must come first for all to fall into place. People have more value (eternal value) than activites or jobs.
  Providing for our families comes after the actual people. Then writing or whatever it is that tickles our fancy.
  
  How do you know when to do what? There are just so many hours in one day. Do you give up the extras, wait for the kids to grow up, try to juggle both....? Tough choices. Most people I know have opted to give up their dreams.
  
  For now, I've chosen to juggle. I've given up things in the past-quilting and even reading (for a time). I found that my creativity banged against its cages to be free.
  
  To be free, but not to take over-therein lies the struggle.
  
  "God help us, daring to try is the payoff."
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• 

  Robert Bruce

  2 years ago

  I think it was Aquinas on his deathbed, "Everything I have written is straw", or something like that... I am too young and arrogant to completely understand this wisdom, but I get it somehow.
  
  I'm not sure we disagree here Mark, I think maybe my head is mud.
  
  In that poem, I would have included (sometimes to the exclusion of anything else) time with daughter, wife, meditation, prayer, study, beer, etc. (ie., whatever your hand finds to do in life at any given moment)...
  
  Time spent with our children is the big leagues
  
  Time spent fixing the toilet is the big leagues
  
  Time spent loving our wives (though imperfectly) is the big leagues
  
  Time spent face down before the Great King is the big leagues
  
  And yes, time spent writing a little poem is the big leagues
  
  Degrees of importance are laced throughout that list... uh-huh. But when my hand is at any one of them, in that moment, I am responsible for it.
  
  Anyway, thanks for this, you give good edit my friend. And good debate.
  
  Lemme know...
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  L.L. Barkat

  2 years ago

  Yes, I've got new rules myself... no computer before 9:00 am. Unplug at 6:00 (6:30 the latest... and hope my spouse doesn't replug, 'cause then I sometimes get snared!)
  
  It was my daughter's pencil-drawn picture of selfishness that got my attention. One item in the pic was a computer with a cup of tea next to it. Ouch.
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• 

  Marcus

  2 years ago

  Robert, I agree that we don't disagree at all. (Um, that makes perfect sense, right?)
  
  It's the opposite of that adage don't sweat the small stuff and its all small stuff. I'm not encouraging people to have anxiety attacks or anything, but it isn't all small stuff.
  
  The small stuff--like you said--is the big leagues.
  
  Maybe you've seen the great noir film The Zero Effect? There isn't any small stuff or big stuff. There's just a bunch of stuff.
  
  It's the stuff of our lives. I must never disengage from the present moment. Never. I must never lose focus. Never.
  
  Of course I will. But as soon as I realize it--zip--I need to get back into the moment. The present moment is the closest I can ever get to eternity in this life.
  
  This poem, my misread, and the comments on my misread really really made me think. Any poem that makes someone think is doing a lot of things right.
  
  I don't know if that makes it big league stuff. But it sure made an impact on me.
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• 

  Marcus

  2 years ago

  Backing up a bit...
  
  Jenn, I do like to preach sometimes, darn it. Thanks for the kind words.
  
  I'm glad you liked the reference to Prufrock. To be honest, I was worried that it was too erudite or something. It's a really tough poem--I was forced to teach it for years before I was able to make sense out of it.
  
  Oh, those poor poor students in my first years of teaching.
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• 

  Marcus

  2 years ago

  Eve, you pretty much summed it up for me. It's funny, though. I almost didn't put faith in my top three.
  
  Not because faith isn't a priority, but because it isn't a time drain in the same way as choosing between work and family and hobby.
  
  God goes with me no matter what priority I'm pursuing.
  
  But then I thought I could be misinterpreted. And I thought, it could also be an excuse not to be still and know.
  
  Being still. Ha. Someday I'll learn how to do that.
  
  (naaaah.)
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• 

  Marcus

  2 years ago

  L.L., I'm lucky enough that I get to experiment with this stuff a little bit at work.
  
  But I blog from home too. Because as strange as it sounds, the bloggers I read really are my friends. I live in a small town. If I try to talk poetry and writing here, I get funny looks.
  
  But you all get funny looks too! So online we can all get funny looks together. Awww.
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• 

  WPS

  2 years ago

  Marcus,
  
  My comments probably reveal more about me than they do about you. The struggle, my struggle, is to live an undivided, yet focused, life. It was Jim Elliot who said, "Wherever you are, be all there." How does that happen? How do we give all of who we are to whatever - and whoever - is before us at any given moment? I do not know. But, I do hope for enlightenment (or at least a little wisdom). And, I must confess, I am envious of the kiss from your dancing daughter. Peace.
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  Marcus

  2 years ago

  WPS, I'm right there with you. I like the metaphor of living a whole life or a centered life or a focused life--much more than the metaphor of a balanced life.
  
  And yet some elements of our lives are bound by time and necessarily either/or. I'm either at work or at home. I'm either watching TV or blogging. That sort of thing.
  
  If you figure out the secret to living in the moment, be sure to let me know. I suspect it is something like praying without ceasing, but I can't really imagine that without twisting the way I define prayer.
  
  Thanks for the comments and the good conversation.
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  Susan

  2 years ago

  I think the interesting point is that you all seem to be dividing life into the "big" items and the "small" items - but what if all of the items are big and we just don't know it because we don't have the mind of God?
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  Marcus

  2 years ago

  Susan, that's what makes someone a prophet, I think. When a person has insight into the mind of God, he or she sees the higher truth. They are enlightened to the truth--to borrow WPS's terminology and Plato's metaphor.
  
  Of course, the Bible talks about the light of wisdom, too.
  
  "These commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light" (Prov. 6:23).
  
  "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path" (Ps. 119:105).
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• 

  Karin H.

  2 years ago

  Hi Marcus (and all others)
  
  We all 'struggle' with priorities (some more than others, or some times more than others). Kent Blumberg just wrote a post about focus and priorities. It's about teams and management and businesses, but I personally feel his advice can be used in many (if not any) situation.
  http://kentblumberg.typepad.com/kent_blumberg/2...
  
  I for one will follow his list and advice in business as well as in my personal life (the 'distinction' between the two sometimes gets lost ;-))
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• 

  Eve Nielsen

  2 years ago

  "God goes with me no matter what priority I’m pursuing.
  
  But then I thought I could be misinterpreted. And I thought, it could also be an excuse not to be still and know."
  
  I admit that this has sometimes been my excuse. God's convinced me that, though, that He desires to be pursued by me-as much as a woman desires to be pursued and loved (maybe men like that too?)
  
  Funny looks-yep, know all about them *grin* I typically get this longsuffering look-"Here we go again..."
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  Marcus

  2 years ago

  Karin, that is quite a challenge on Kent's blog to focus. I admit that I'm more like a shotgun than a rifle, but it's something I am trying to be more deliberate about.
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  Karin H.

  2 years ago

  Hi Marcus
  
  I'll have to promise myself to follow his steps from now on. Kent is a great 'help' in keeping focused.
  
  ( I'll get lost otherwise in too many things to do, too little time, too many 'scrambled' priorities and hence nothing will get done properly - not even taking care of people, sharing and learning all things related)
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  Marcus

  2 years ago

  Eve, yeah. I think men want to be loved too, but our culture encourages us to be the pursuer. That role actually makes a lot of the romantic imagery about pursuing God difficult for men--in those metaphors we're always cast in the role of God. Weird.
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  L.L. Barkat

  2 years ago

  Ah, well. Men might read more Song of Songs. She's the pursuer there, hands down.
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  Charity Singleton

  2 years ago

  Balance in life is so elusive. One day, as I was struggling to know if I was spending my time wisely, I read the lyrics to a song that went something like, "this is your life, are you who you want to be?" At first it freaked me out, because I didn't want my life to be about all the mundane things I had been doing. Then I thought more about it. The song asked if this is "who" I want to be, not "what" I want to be doing. Maybe the spiritual formation that happens in our lives and those we love is an important criteria for all these things we all do.
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• 

  Every Square Inch

  2 years ago

  Marcus
  
  Sorry I'm late to this discussion - I was unplugged yesterday. This post is why you're a blogging friend to me- you want to be A list husband and father!
  
  It's not always a zero-sum game but we do have limited time and energy (it's a humbling sign of our humanity and a reminder of God's majestic attributes). We must have priorities and you're reminding us why and which ones are most important. It's why I respect you and other bloggers like LL who are gifted, love writing and blogging but know it's not of first importance.
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  Amy

  2 years ago

  He is an A list husband and father - A+. Our children may not always understand the time their father spends hunched over the keyboard, but they know he loves reading and writing, and therefore at ages 6 and 2, they already do, too. And more importantly, they absolutely know he loves them. And he loves God. And, thank God, he loves me.
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  Craver-VII

  2 years ago

  Mark, an A-list husband declaration from your bride. That's better than any blog award for sure!
  Blessings to Mr. and Mrs. G, as well as your little scribes.
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• 

  Tom

  2 years ago

  Mark: I've been meditating on this post, and the ensuing comments, all weekend. I couldn't hold back any longer. Thanks for a wonderful discussion thread and a sliver of eternity, something so much bigger and more important than the urgent of the here and now.
  
  What God is teaching me right now is that all the experiences I've had, the lessons I've learned, the moments of truth I have experienced, may very well be exactly what I need when life comes barreling at me. The mundane of the relationship with my wife was exactly what I needed when she was diagnosed with cancer several years ago. The mundane of family game nights are exactly what I need now when the big, bad world comes after my 14-year-old daughter with fangs bared and claws extended. It is in those moments that I get just a small glimps of what God must see all the time, and can connect the inconsequential minutae that has flown by with the times that define us.
  
  I couldn't agree more with the sentiments that Mr. Bruce offered about do it do it do it, because if you don't, you'll quit too soon and quite possibly miss the one piece you need when it seems that there is nothing else to cling to.
  
  Thanks so much for stirring this up!
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  Marcus

  2 years ago

  Touche L.L. And a good reminder that our culture can learn tons from the Hebrew culture of the Old Testament.
  
  Charity, I love that song! And a great interpretation. Our lives are defined by our identities not our activities.
  
  ESI, no worries about being late to the conversation. I unplugged all weekend and just now got back. (Big Bear was beautiful. My friend, Karl, and I had a great time.) You wrote, " It’s not always a zero-sum game but we do have limited time and energy (it’s a humbling sign of our humanity and a reminder of God’s majestic attributes)." It's that kind of honest blend of theology, wisdom, and practicality that I love about your site. Thanks for dropping by.
  
  Amy, love you, hon.
  
  Craver, you've blessed my kids with a new nickname! "Our little scribes." Heh heh heh. I'll torture them with that forever.
  
  Tom, you are uncharacteristically serious here! Wow. I assume your wife is better now? And I will be praying for your daughter. My daughter's six and the thought of sending her to high school terrifies me. On the other hand, I was a teacher for ten years, and those places aren't quite the dens of iniquity that they sometimes seem to be. Still, I'm praying for you, man.
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